Funny Anecdotes From The Last Weeks:
September 6th 2002
(1) Itís Saturday (August 24th 2002), 1:45 a.m. Together with some friends Iíve drowned the disaster of St. Pauli loosing to VfB Luebeck 0:6. Now Iím sleeping on a couch in Luebeck, when my mobileís ringing:
Corinna: Helll-lllo?!
Claudia*: Corinna?
Corinna: Si.
Claudia: The house is shaking and swaying!
Corinna: What?
Claudia: The house is shaking and swaying!
Corinna: My worldís spinning, too!
Claudia: Your worldís spinning, too?
Corinna: Indeed! But Iím in Luebeck!
Claudia: Oh. But here, everything is shaking and swaying!
Corinna: Hey, and what do you want me to do about it? Get in the car, drive to Hamburg and hold the building tight? But, Iím not surprised to hear this anyway.
Claudia: Why?
Corinna: Because I got two machines in my flat, drying the walls and the floor of the apartment. Theyíre working hard, sucking in the wet air and spitting out some incredibly hot and dry air. Iím not surprised you can hear and feel them doing their jobs!
Claudia: Oh... and you canít turn them off?
Corinna: I sure could Ė but wouldnít that slightly invalidate their purpose Ė donít you think?
Claudia: Possibly... But... Arenít they dangerous?
Corinna: Hm?!?
Claudia: Arenít these machines dangerous?
Corinna: How?
Claudia: Couldnít they get on fire?
Corinna: Anything could get on fire. But why should they? Theyíre just two fat machines, looking like R2D2ís cousins and making a lot of hot fuzz. R2D2 isnít dangerous either!
Claudia: And you donít think they could get on fire?
Corinna: Not really.
Claudia: I think, I will move out nonetheless...
Corinna: ...
Claudia: ... Iíll go to my parents place tomorrow and they there as long as it lasts...
Corinna: ...
Claudia: ... and tonight Iíll stay with my boy-friend...
Corinna: ...
Claudia: ... Iíll go there right now!
Corinna: Whatever you want...
Remember: All this at 2:00 a.m.!!!
(2) Itís Monday (August, 24th 2002) 8:00 a.m. Corinna is fast asleep. Since May Iíve not set my alarm anymore, every day being sure to be woken up by hammering and sewing at 7:00 a.m. at the latest. Strangely enough, not today. There are people working upstairs but for some obscure reason theyíre keeping totally quiet today.
 So at 8:00 a.m. I am woken by some rather persistent knocks on my door...
Corinna: ?!?
Electrician: Good morning!
Corinna: ...
Electrician: Have you still been asleep?
Corinna: ...
Electrician: Weíre here to fit some electrics.
Corinna: What electrics?
Electrician: [taking a look at his clip board] Everything!
Corinna: Oh, what a plan! Everything?
Electrician: Yep! Everything!
Corinna: Great. OK. Look, there are three options for you:
 1. You are fitting everything upstairs. Problem is, itís an absolute mess up there: There are piles of plaster-tiles (to put up on the walls) everywhere. If you can fit your electrics Ė amongst those piles and another couple of builders Ė into some not yet existing walls, I wonít stop you!
 2. You are fitting everything down here. Problem is, I got two professional drying machines running here. Collectively, theyíve managed to create a constant temperature of 37° C (ca. 102° F) and youíre not allowed to open any windows.
 Youíre very welcome to work naked Ė be sure I donít mind... or
 3. You bugger off and come back some time later.
Electrician: Well... I think weíre off then...
(3)  Itís Monday (August, 26th 2002) morning, a little later. The electricians have left (!) and because Iím still far too tired to get in the car and drive to work, I decide to take a look at whatís happening upstairs.
Corinna: Moin! (Hamburgís way of saying "Good morning")
Builders: Moin!
Corinna: Oh... starting to look better!
Builders: Yep, weíre on our way. And weíre going to start with the walls soon, too!
Corinna: Oh, thatís interesting! Where are you going to put the walls?
Builders: ... There... there... and there!
Corinna: Great idea this is not! This is not where the walls are going to be!
Builders: Oh! Is it not?
Corinna: No, positively, not!
Builders: But... Isnít it in the plan?
Corinna: What plan?
Builders: Donít you have a plan?
Corinna: No. And you donít seem to have one either. Therefore I doubt the existence of a plan altogether!
Builders: Oh... But... Where do you want the walls?
Corinna: No idea. Donít know whatís going to be possible...
Builders: Anything is possible.
Corinna: OK, but not everything is making sense!
Builders: True... Well, there is definitely going to be a wall here [pointing to the sky-light of my kitchen].
Corinna: Definitely not! It would have to be a flying wall otherwise!
Builders: Why?
Corinna: Because this is the sky-light of the kitchen!
Builders: The kitchenís got a sky-light? Where is the kitchen!
I spare you the rest of this rather lengthy discussion Ė it just got way too ridiculous...
Fact is, no-one ever really gave thought to the question of where to put the walls... All I could do for an ad hoc meeting with everyone involved in this project and try to make at least a bit of sense...
By the way: So far, not a single wall has been built!
Happy weekend!
PS.  Iíve come off the idea of a mint-green carpet... Iím thinking ice-blue-greyish things now...
* Claudia is my neighbour, whoís obviously not called Claudia, but for reasons of security her name has been changed by me!